I had one of those miserable days yesterday, which to the outside world, probably looked like pmt.

First I got a line on a test. A very pale one, a shadow almost... Then it disappeared as it dried. I know all about evaps but having taken rather a lot of these pregnancy tests and never had one, I couldn't help but be hopeful.

Then I started spotting bright red, so I figured the game was up. I was a little disappointed, but prepared for it.

And then it stopped. What the...?

So this morning I was cautiously hopeful again. Well, kind of - I did check whether I was spotting before I did the test. Which I was, but only a little bit.

So I tested anyway. And got another BFN.

So that's conclusive. I'm out for another month. As Mr said, "maybe a November baby".

Time for a little help?

I spoke to my G.P this morning about my ttc worries.

He took me seriously, and was willing to help, but things are complicated by the fact I'm waiting for another op that I won't be able to have if I fall pregnant. I've already been waiting for 6 months, and will have to wait again for another procedure after that. The limbo has already gone on for so long that delaying ttc seems ridiculous - all being normal, I could conceive and give birth by the time I get a date for this op!

Of course, all isn't normal. We agreed that I almost certainly ovulate, but that there is a chance there are other underlying factors (consistently low temps & short luteal phase being obvious symptoms) and a likelihood of my having endometriosis again which may mean another laparoscopy. Either way, first step is testing for Mr.

We are limited in the help we can get as I already have a child. There is no hope of IVF on the NHS whatever they find.

My doctor asked the question I've been avoiding asking myself - if we go ahead with this, will my body cope with a laparoscopy and subsequent pregnancy if I don't get my back op first?

The truth is I don't know. Something else to dwell on while I wait for AF.