Long time, no write

It's been a while since I've written anything here. Things have improved a little since my meltdown at the beginning of the month but this month still feels a bit like going through the motions.

This month obviously started oddly, with what turned out to be a very short but very intense period - it felt as if I had everything condensed into one morning. It was terrifying, and very draining, but ultimately probably quite cleansing so I'm trying to see it as a positive (and desperately hoping it doesn't happen again...)

I'm expecting to ovulate tomorrow or Wednesday, praying for Wednesday as Mr is away tonight. We've done well managing to BD every day for the last few days so all being well, our timing will be good despite the trip away.

That said, it does feel as if the odds are against us this month. Not only did Mr schedule a work trip in the most likely 2 days for ovulation, but my acupuncturist is on holiday until the weekend so if I fall pregnant this month my body will be going it alone. I'm just recording temps and anything really obvious rather than trying to chart cervical changes and mucus. My temps are usually pretty clear and it means that by the time I am sure I've ovulated I'm already 3 or 4 days past ovulation, which makes the wait slightly more bearable.

I am still waiting on a letter from work which is likely to be lifechanging in one way or another. In a situation where the best possible outcome appears to be redundancy, I've got to the stage that I just want it over so I can move on. Mr is waiting on legal papers for other reasons and as a result we seem to be alternating between griping at each other and desperately clinging to each other.

By the end of this week, I should know one way or the other and by Christmas we could be on a very different path. Fingers crossed that sometime between now and then my body decides to cooperate and we have something positive to keep us on track.