Quite a long while in fact. I haven't been very good at posting lately. On any blog.
Of course it's partly because we're moving, which is incredibly exciting but there is so much to do I can't think straight for long enough to complete a cup of tea, let alone write something intelligible.
And here... well there's not a lot to say after a while is there. If I labelled my blog posts by cycle day, I could probably just go back and pick an old one and post it again. They call them cycles for a reason.
So here I am again 8dpo and symptom spotting. But this month it is a bit different as I know that we are unlikely to have conceived this month as we got our first ever "Low" on Fertility Friend. Much as we did the best we could with the time available, it does feel a little like a bad report from school. Must try harder.
The reality is that statistically, we've probably still got about a 30% chance of pregnancy as we did manage to babydance in the fertile window. But as I don't fall pregnant easily even when we've had LOTS of sex (40% chance. Fertility geek...) in my mind I've already ruled it out.
As a result I'm feeling much less stressed than usual. Except that I started spotting yesterday. And I'm still spotting today. And I'm only 8dpo so it really shouldn't be my period yet as my luteal phase has been much longer than that for months now. Although it could be as I've been under a lot of stress. And I can't rely on temps as I forgot yesterday. And yesterday's temp would have been wrong anyway as I only got 2hrs sleep. And today's temp could go either way.
Situation normal after all really! If I'm honest, my chart looks like one that's about to go off a cliff and into the "red zone". Which is fine, because I wasn't expecting anything this month anyway and it just means our next chance comes sooner.
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So why can I not stop the naive little voices in my head going, "you bled all the way through last time" and "there's still a chance..."?