Getting my hopes up

I hate this time of the month. I was 12dpo this morning and due to my naturally short and now lengthened but unstable luteal phase, I really have no idea when my period is due. Anywhere between 8 and 13 days is normal.

I tested this morning on my "official" test date and got bfn. Disappointing, especially as the spotting I've had the last few days has stopped. I was also so nauseous that I was actually sick last night, and dell asleep on the sofa at about 830. In fact Mr couldn't wake me, and I didn't stir til 730 this morning!

So I think I might be coming down with something... Am so fed up - if I'm going to feel this rubbish, give me the pregnancy to go with it!

Looking up

Finally things feel a bit more hopeful, and the rainbow I saw last week summed it up perfectly.

I may actually get voluntary redundancy approved at work - it's not exactly my ideal world scenario, as it's not a lot of money, and means I will be unemployed for the first time in my life, but at least I get a chance to move on and get away from all the stress.

Mr is still very stressed, but we've had a heart to heart and agreed that if redundnacy goes through, we can move to a different rental house. Nothing fancy, but it will be mould free and have enough bedrooms. It's a halfway house (literally) to what we really want but it's a step in the right direction, which feels great.

For me, the stress reduction, although I'm still in negotiations, has been instant. My acupuncturist commented on the change and also did something this week that he felt may change my cycle. As usual, he didn't exactly explain how or why, but so far, everything he's done has felt positive so I'm inclined to trust.

On the TTC front, we've done rather well on the babydancing front, but I ran out of my precious Floradix at the beginning of the month and, as I read somewhere that B6 can delay ovulation, thought I'd wait til then to restock. Of course, that meant I forgot to get any, so I've been taking a B-complex tablet in the hope it will do a similar job.

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I think there may be some truth in it delaying ovulation as Fertility Friend has me ovulating at day 16, which is very early for me, so I'll be taking it from mid-month only in future.

My test date should be Saturday, but with the acupuncture effect I should probably wait a bit longer. Not going to happen, as it's 7dpo and I'm already twitching at the test packets, but I probably should...

Silent Sunday: 09/10/2011

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Talking about sex?

Today I finally got my crosshairs, which was a relief, as having only temped all month I didn't have any other data to crosscheck my slightly rocky temps with.

And the bonus prize:

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Our babydancing got an A++! We are a little gutted about O-3 *hangs head in shame*. Not sure what happened there, but as we were expecting O around day 18, still pretty impressive.

Timing had to be good this month as we managed to have sex at least every other day despite Mr's trip away. Which, in case you hadn't realised, I'm more than a little proud of. Obviously not something I can really tell my mum, my "real-life" friends or the lady at the shop I usually share random good news with.

So I'm sharing it here :) And I don't even feel the need for a TMI alert. Because as any self-respecting TTCer knows, TMI means particularly detailed CM descriptions, or freaky symptoms. It's not general chitchat about how often you have sex, in which positions, and whether you stick a pillow under your bum afterwards.

TTC forums have to be the only place where you would share that level of detail and then accept compliments on your sex life from complete strangers. Got to love t'internet...

Long time, no write

It's been a while since I've written anything here. Things have improved a little since my meltdown at the beginning of the month but this month still feels a bit like going through the motions.

This month obviously started oddly, with what turned out to be a very short but very intense period - it felt as if I had everything condensed into one morning. It was terrifying, and very draining, but ultimately probably quite cleansing so I'm trying to see it as a positive (and desperately hoping it doesn't happen again...)

I'm expecting to ovulate tomorrow or Wednesday, praying for Wednesday as Mr is away tonight. We've done well managing to BD every day for the last few days so all being well, our timing will be good despite the trip away.

That said, it does feel as if the odds are against us this month. Not only did Mr schedule a work trip in the most likely 2 days for ovulation, but my acupuncturist is on holiday until the weekend so if I fall pregnant this month my body will be going it alone. I'm just recording temps and anything really obvious rather than trying to chart cervical changes and mucus. My temps are usually pretty clear and it means that by the time I am sure I've ovulated I'm already 3 or 4 days past ovulation, which makes the wait slightly more bearable.

I am still waiting on a letter from work which is likely to be lifechanging in one way or another. In a situation where the best possible outcome appears to be redundancy, I've got to the stage that I just want it over so I can move on. Mr is waiting on legal papers for other reasons and as a result we seem to be alternating between griping at each other and desperately clinging to each other.

By the end of this week, I should know one way or the other and by Christmas we could be on a very different path. Fingers crossed that sometime between now and then my body decides to cooperate and we have something positive to keep us on track.